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- TOP TEN SIGNS THAT MICHAEL JORDAN IS OUT OF SHAPE
-
- 10. Played whole 4th quarter in a golf cart
-
- 9. Constant interruptions in play because his loud wheezing
- sounds like a whistle
-
- 8. Now he's only three times as good as the rest of the players
-
- 7. More fans hurt by stray balls than at a presidential golf
- tournament
-
- 6. Indiana Pacers using my mom to guard him
-
- 5. Every timeout: two hot dogs and a big wad of cotton candy
-
- 4. Got winded giving the finger to Reggie Miller
-
- 3. Richard Simmons followed him home from yesterday's game
-
- 2. When he fakes left and moves right, his ass keeps goin' left
-
- 1. The Gatorade I.V.
-
- Letterman, Monday, March 20, 1995
- Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995
-